"...conscious, as the smell of vomit wafted sweet and sour off Booker's breath through the open window, of the confident speech St. Paul's had given me" (169).
"Let me go."
"You too good?"
"Get your motherfuckin' hands off of me."
"Don't talk like that." He gave my torso another squeeze and opened the door. "You got a nasty mouth sometimes," he said, holding the jar ajar. "You'd better just make sure to keep it closed." (160)
He asked me whether or not I had messed around with any of the other men. I did not feel indignant when he asked me these questions, so I intent was I on telling my story and making him listen (161).
"Next thing you'll be turning us in."
According the Honor Code, that's what I was supposed to do. I did not think it would my case to point out that at the present moment I was being lenient.
"I really didn't think you'd take it this way," said Janie.
"Neither did I." [...] I didn't want her to think I'd joined the establishment, but the truth was that, in a way, I had. (180)
I learned to think of misbehavior as a symptom rather than a disease (193).
India and I talked often and late into the night after that. We raged together at St. Paul's School—at its cliques and competitiveness; its ambivalence toward its new female members; its smugness and certainty and power. We talked about families and boyfriends, girls we liked and girls we didn't. We laughed at how we had appeared to each other the year before. Our talk was therapeutic, private, and as intense as romance. It was for me the first triumph of love over race. (199)
The following is a blog written by a student back in the spring of 2015. It raises good questions. Pick one of the two questions the student posed. And answer the third that I ask.
In the past two chapters, we have
seen Lorene begin to feel as if she finds her place and embraces her positions
of authority as a senior at St. Paul’s. Throughout the book previously, Lorene
has struggled with feeling separate and cut off from the school’s environment
and traditions, but now she begins to embrace them, realizing, as she says,
that she has “…brought a whole bunch of new ideas that haven’t been here until
now” (195).
As Lorene begins to fill her new
rolls—as a senior, Vice President, tutor, even teacher at one point—she struggles
between taking advantage of St. Paul’s and being an active member of the
community while maintaining her own identity and her history. She is struggling
to do exactly as Mr. Vernon Jordan says, to “…be the best that you can, so that
when you come out, you’ll be ready. But you cannot forget where you’ve come
from”(202). This point is brought up again with Jimmy and his disciplinary
case. On one hand, his experience does him good, but it also subdues him in a
way that some may see as not entirely positive.
1. How do we see Lorene struggle
with this difficult balance of assimilation vs. maintaining her identity? What
are your opinions on Jimmy’s disciplinary case? Do you think this balance
between embracing St. Paul’s and maintaining personal identity is important or
even possible?
We also see Lorene continue to find
common ground and forge new relationships she never thought she would have,
like her new friendship with India. Although this shows her growth, Lorene must
begin to grapple with her own changing identity and the privileges she now has
that she never previously self-identified with. This is highlighted with Lorene’s
conversation with Archibald Cox, his not so sly “Our kind of people” (201) comment.
2. So,
what did you make of Archibald Cox and Lorene’s
quick interaction, more specifically, the “our kind of people” comment?
Is
there a difference between finding common ground, like Lorene and India
do, and
dividing yourself into groups (especially privileged groups) like the
“educated
Northeastern establishment” into which both Cox and now Lorene fall?
Is there any difference between these groups based on mutual privilege
and something like the Third World Coalition?
And for everyone:
3. It seems clear to me that St. Paul's has changed Lorene—and in a positive way. Agree or disagree with that statement. And offer some support for your opinion.
Ok, folks. See you all tomorrow. And I thought the discussion on Thursday was a good one. Thanks for the honesty, openness, and trust.
1. I think the balance between embracing St. Paul's and maintaining personal identity is important. The only way it can be possible is with constant evaluation which can be taxing. I think Lorene goes through periods where she is consumed by her school work or her duties as an officer, and she doesn't have time to reflect on this balance. However, when she does have time to think about it, she starts to make decisions more carefully. Over the summer, she chooses to (although she may have needed the money) live the life of a 9-5 worker, and spend time with people from her hometown. She pretty easily makes friends with the workers there. She sees that she is still part of this community, but now she has a changed perspective or understanding of the events that occur there. At the diner, she doesn't have to think in terms of achievement and planning for the future. She just lives and experiences, but what makes her different from some of the other workers is that she now has seen two different ways of life, and she can see the benefits of each way. I think an accurate description of Lorene's issue of assimilation vs identity is more complex than just the term "balance". She is not exactly balancing the two. When she is at St. Paul's she is immersed in that culture, and when she is at home she is immersed in another culture. However, she now has an awareness of both these realities, and she is starting to understand how she fits into both worlds. I think that this is helping her 'discover herself' or find her own unique identity because this divide constantly challenges her.
ReplyDelete3. As I started to talk about above, I think St. Paul's does change Lorene in a positive way because it challenges her. Not only academically, but in terms of her idea of herself. Before going to St. Paul's, Lorene had some views of the world that were probably not accurate. Her idea of rich white students being like poodles is funny, but it's inaccurate. Those rich white people are pretty smart and talented too! It seems that Lorene also had incorrect assumptions about herself. St. Paul's challenged her to think about the role she played in her community at home and her community at the school. By constantly grappling with this idea of balancing school culture and her own identity, I think Lorene starts to develop a stronger sense of self. It is a difficult process that makes her feel isolated, but eventually she starts to have a clearer sense of who she is and how she wants to live her life. Sometimes she feels a bit unsure of her choices or what she should do, but I think that being constantly confronted with difficult situations that Lorene must handle without her parents or family has changed her for the better.
2. I thought the exchange was funny, especially when it almost took a turn for the worst. This comment stayed with me throughout the reading because it didn't really seem like he said what he said because of their similarities, but more because of the common differences they shared from the surrounding mindsets. To me, Lorene and Archibald seemed really different from each other. It didn't seem like there could be much relation between them considering how little Lorene had said as well as their foundations and backgrounds so it was interesting that he grouped himself with Lorene. Either way I didn't like his comment because I feel like secularizing people is just as harmful as pretending differences don't exist. We see Lorene's friends earlier in the text make it a point to recognize that everybody is the same regardless of whether they're white, black, or purple, but it's just as detrimental to put people into groups all the time and hyperfocus on their differences.
ReplyDelete3. Lorene has definitely changed for the better. I think being exposed to such different worlds and perspectives has made her more aware of herself and her surroundings. I think she's more self assured because of her mistakes and she now knows what she wants. After the incident with Ricky and then later the broiler man at the diner, I think Lorene realized her self worth. Although she's left with this hatred of men, she at least recognizes the horrible ways she's being treated and she understands that that kind of behavior is definitely not ok. I think another example of Lorene's change is her failing calculous. She later talks to Alma who, "accepted rather than fought against her limitations," (177) which I think helps her realize her own limitations and how far she can push herself. Another change Lorene made was realizing that she also had things to offer St. Paul and that she could give to the school just as much as the school gave to her. Through the difficult times at St. Paul, I think Lorene is still managing to benefit from the school, even though she's not quite sure how she'll use these benefits once she graduates.
2. I, like Agasha, found Mr.Cox’s comment amusing. Him saying, “our kind of people” and grouping himself with Lorene was such a weird and – for a moment – invalid statement. It's expected for him to group himself and Lorene into separate groups, but it was a bit of a shock to hear him say the opposite. I guess that on the basis of “the educated Northeastern establishment” they are in the same group and it is in fact a valid statement. However I still have that lingering feeling of “did he really just say that” because it seems almost too good to be true or not even true at all –bad phrasing but I can't find the words to describe it–. I think this is because Lorene just got this privilege and she doesn't really have all that comes with it like her peers so this grouping seems less genuine than that of the third world coalition.
ReplyDelete3. I think she has really come into her own. It wasn't the easiest of journeys but Lorene is becoming the person she didn't know she would be happy being. She came into St. Paul's wanting to “turn it out” and be in it but not of it, but what she didn't know at first was that it was okay –perhaps better– to be apart of it. I think that her overall betterment cannot be separated from the rough period that she had. I am not in anyway saying that being raped and feeling isolated was good but her struggle to find her place at St. Paul's and later the world was good for her in the end. She was not the person with the best grades or the best athlete, but I think she realized that she didn't have to be in order to “turn it out” –if turning it out meant showing St. Paul's that she is just as good if not better than her white peers–. Realizing this also gave her a sense of who she is and who she really wants to be.
2. There is in an op ed in the New York Times today titled “The End of Identity Liberalism,” in which the author, Mark Lilla, argues that a major factor of Clinton's loss was her involvement in Identity Politics, building rapport among Black, Latino, and LGBT communities while oftentimes dismissing or not acknowledging white groups. He then contrasts this method with FDR's much more future focused and inclusive “Four Freedoms” campaign. So to answer the question, yes, I do believe there is a massive difference between dividing people into groups to find similarities and finding common ground without separating and delineating. So what happens when somebody does start delineating and separating? Two things, the first of which Archibald Cox unfortunately did: assumed an identity that another person does not particularly associate with. When Cox said the words “our kind of people,” Lorene immediately was reminded of her black identity, far from the “the educated northeastern establishment” (201) that Archibald Cox intended. I have also often felt that my identity has been misconstrued. I remember back in 8th grade, during RCG in Oman and Tom's class, when all the white boys were asked to sit together in the “fishbowl” and talk about our experience being white males. Nobody spoke. The teachers kept asking us to do this after that, and while we sometimes talked about being a boy, almost nobody talked about being white. My “white” identity is simply skin deep, it only emerges when somebody makes a point about white people, or white males, and I have to remind myself that he/she is talking about me. And when somebody does make a point about white people as a cohesive social identity, jamming me into a box I never wanted nor thought I had, I feel a similar anger to what Lorene feels during her chat with Archibald Cox. I suddenly feel alienated from other people who aren't white and male, as if anything we had in common before has been devalued and made insignificant in front of the all-encompassing monolith of race, class, and gender paradigms. The second thing that can occur is yet another form of alienation, but an alienation originating from the constraints of a self-identity. For example, when Lorene thinks of India, she is reminded of India's whiteness: she has an image of her dancing “around the slaves with a whip, her classical ballet training showing in every movement” (197). And because of this distinct non-black image of India, Lorene seems her only as “a symbol, a collection of accomplishments [she] did not possess” (197). Because Lorene cannot look past her racial differences, she alienates herself from India, whom she later has a great discussion with. And what if people are able to focus on collective goals and common ground? Well, as Lorene puts it, you can have a “triumph of love over race” (199).
ReplyDelete3. Lorene has improved a great deal. She's developed great relationships with India and Alma. But maybe the most important change she's sustained is that she now feels comfortable away from her family and her community in Philly. She says that “the rituals this year were familiar. They included me and sustained me and helped me know where I was” (175). No longer is Lorene just growing academically, she seems to be growing emotionally, exposing herself to embrace St. Paul's back. St. Paul's no longer seems antagonistic towards her, she describes herself as a “fifty year-old manager” (180) at the school, nestled securely in her place. And she's found a new boyfriend, Anthony, that seems to be able to support her psychologically, unlike Ricky. When she's dancing for the school and she loses tempo, she imagines Anthony, and rediscovers that dancing can be “a communion with another person” (184). Overall, Lorene has found a broader base of support that she could only find in Jimmy before, and this makes alarge difference in her experience.
1) I think this goes back to the question of being “in it but not of it.” Normally, I would not say it is impossible to maintain a balance between assimilation and participation. I've even seen it accomplished first hand, and am somewhat a culprit of it myself to a minor degree. But considering who Lorene is, or was as a teenager, I think it is impossible. When the idea of being “in it but not of it” originally came about in Lorene’s initial conversation with Jimmy, she was so convinced that she could solely focus on grades and performance alone. But what we've seen from Lorene since then is an extremely strong desire to be apart and one with the people around her. The first sign was in chapter five when the girls were in her room. She relishes in the similarities between her and the girls that she hadn't noticed before. “I wanted the company…I learned that other girls, too, tired during sports, that their calf muscles, like mine, screamed out pain…” We see it again when she ignores her logic and goes out to party with Doug so she could “sashay into the examination refreshed” just like him and his crowd. And we've seen it recently as well when she joins Janie and company on the grounds: “I wanted to bask with them in the early days of Sixth-Former years.” She just can't help be a part of the community in any way possible from. This is why she's found herself with so many commitments, from the arts, to sports, to the student council. Her situation has also shown me why relationships like the one she has with India are so important. Though India isn't black, Lorene still fills comfortable sharing her black experiences with her. Relationships like this one will help Lorene maintain her personal identity.
ReplyDelete1a) Now speaking on Jimmy’s situation, I've noticed similar things about private school’s disciplinary system. Paideia is a lot more focused on doing what is best for the student and school, where as my old school punished just for the sake of punishing. Also, the reference to 1984 was pretty tragic. It sucks for someone like Jimmy, who was so ready to turn the school out, to fall into conformity.
3. She has definitely changed in a good way, she just hasn’t realized it yet. I think she has a clearer idea where her strengths are (we've seen she's much better at arts and English than math and science). She's formed relationships she would've never had the opportunity to have back at home. Like Mr. Jordan said, “You kids are getting a view of white America that we never even got close to.” Also, even though they were tragic, her experiences with men reinforced the lesson learned but never truly understood, “to trust no man.” Those relationship experiences will help her in the future. It even helped her with Booker. She was more quickly able to recognize he wasn't for her, saying “we'd both seen enough.” Like Mr. Jordan said, she’ll ultimately be able to take everything that's happened to her since she joined St. Paul's and use it when she leaves.
1. I think Lorene has difficulty finding her balance between using her opportunity at St. Paul’s to its fullest while staying true to herself. I think this shows when she surrounds herself with people who she doesn’t really feel close to, to say she has friends (and show to her classmates that she has friends) and to acquaint herself with the school: “I wanted the company – and the prosperous appearance of company […] As they came to sit and stay, however, differences emerged between us” (82-83). I think that Lorene knows she would benefit more if she found people she had real, deep connections with, but she refrains from doing so (outside of Jimmy) for a while, at least from my perspective. But I think her isolation helps her learn more about herself, about her limitations and her desires. I think Lorene also realizes that she can accept her education at St. Paul’s. She can accept the fact that maybe, eventually, her education there will become a part of her and her identity, so they don’t necessarily have to be two different things (although, of course, St. Paul’s doesn’t comprise the whole of her identity). I do agree with Mira when she says that keeping this kind of balance in mind requires a ton of self-insight (which is difficult for most people to attain, let alone teenagers) and persistent evaluation. I think maintaining a balance between assimilating at St. Paul’s and maintaining her identity would have been easier for Lorene if she was white and if her background was similar to the majority of other students at the school. That said, I think the balance is extremely important because Lorene reflects on it a lot, and I think it is at the back of her mind almost constantly (which makes sense). But I do think finding a balance is hard, especially when Lorene is so hard on herself and equates assimilation into St. Paul’s with being a perfect student.
ReplyDelete3. I agree that St. Paul’s has changed Lorene in a positive way. I think being surrounded by a different environment than she probably expected when looking ahead to high school makes her think about things differently and makes her learn about herself. It’s important for her to recognize that she is smart and thoughtful, and that she can make a difference, even among other smart and thoughtful people: “You’ve brought a whole bunch of new ideas that haven’t been here until now […] I, too, had something to give to St. Paul’s” (195). I think being in St. Paul’s has made her learn about herself, in different ways than if had she stayed in Philadelphia. I’m not sure if Lorene was as hard on herself before coming to St. Paul’s – we know she had doubts about herself when she was applying and when she got accepted, but it is unclear whether her expectations were as high for herself at her old school in Philly. I think St. Paul’s may have exacerbated her self-doubts by providing Lorene with a difficult environment, but they didn’t implant the self-doubts. The way I see it, Lorene is naturally a self-criticizing person (I don’t think those qualities just appear depending on your environment, although, like I said, they can be heightened by an environment) and St. Paul’s helped her realize this so that she can deal with it accordingly. St. Paul’s itself didn’t cause her to be so hard on herself. I also think that attending St. Paul’s gets Lorene out of her comfort zone, and gives her a different reality than the one she had in Philadelphia (even though she refers to everything outside of St. Paul’s as the real world). I think that this type of change of scenery can be good for almost anyone.
2. There is definitely a difference between India and Lorene's interaction and Mr. Cox and Lorene's. The common ground that India and Lorene find cuts across racial lines, class lines, and cuts through to the core humanity that is shared. Mr. Cox's statement, on the other hand, deepens divisions between people and makes humanity harder to find.
ReplyDeleteWhile it would seem that the category of the "northern white establishment" is the exact same as the Third World Coalition, I believe because their goals are fundamentally different, even though they have the same function they have different effects. The Third World Coalition intensifies the racial division at St. Paul's, but only because it wants to break it down; it wants to make it obvious so that it becomes less of a problem to ignorant white students. The northern white establishment is there to strengthen the distinctions between us and them, to put down the people who aren't in the northern white establishment. That's why it was fundamentally uncomfortable to read.
3. Um, no? I definitely agree that St. Paul's changed her - but for the worse. I think the confusion comes from seeing her acceptance of racism as personal growth. Her transition into black womanhood is about her keeping her "pain, shame and cowardice" a secret (192), and as he keeps her feelings to herself she becomes "ashamed and vengeful" within (184). She is still just as angry before, but St. Paul's and the whites have taken away her tools to fight; they take her "profanities" and "turn them into lies" (197). The new era of civil rights she is in doesn't let her take out her hate in any way, so instead she has just internalized it. This is why she hits her sister, her hate that she has kept inside escapes for a second. She has simply accepted that she is inferior and has become angry instead, blaming the system that keeps kids "ruddy and well-tutored, as healthy as horses" (197). She has accepted everything because St. Paul's had made her not believe herself anymore; again the scene where she doubts her memories of the night Ricky raped her and her evening discussions with white people show her serious doubts in her own credibility. The colorblindness has "robbed" her of the "uniqueness of her situation" (144). So she accepts that she will never be the best. What happened to the black girl who thought she was just as good as white people? What happened to the girl who thought she could turn it out? She has has been coopted by St. Paul's to believe she is just "sociological curiosity" to be "trotted" (188) out in front of visitors, like the "the brainwashed main character in 1984" (206). St. Paul's has done to her one of the most evil things you can do to a person - after taking away her blackness and her ambition, it has taken away her hope.
Also: even the "triumph of love over race" (199) is fundamentally a lie and ultimately superficial; her connection with India is predicated upon "humor" instead of the "shame within" (198). She forms connections and discovers herself, but all of this is built off of the acceptance of racism instead of a fight against it.
Delete1. Lorene belongs to multiple worlds. She is female, black, and at an elite school. She has the ability to be a part of two very different communities—St. Paul’s and Philly. But because she is a part of these two contrasting worlds she cannot fully belong to either one. She is relieved to go home for the summer, but is ready to return to St Paul’s at the end of August. She finds friends at school, connects with India despite racial and economic differences, but she still feels pulled home, to her family and sick mother. I think that her senior year she has been able to become a part of the school community much more than the previous year. She seems happier. Jimmy’s disciplinary case made me angry because I felt like he was treated unfairly. Yes, stealing is wrong, but he was caught before he even took the cigarettes. And, he tried to steal because he did not have enough money to pay, not from a malicious intent. The way he was treated by the school felt to me like a misunderstanding of privilege. Mr. Price’s viscous anger seemed malicious and frankly racist to me—he did not try to understand Jimmy’s situation but instead used his instinctual reaction to theft to dictate his actions. I think that Lorene is slowly finding the important balance between embracing St. Paul’s and holding on to her identity.
ReplyDelete3. I agree: St. Paul’s has been good for Lorene. It has encouraged her to grow intellectually—she would not have been the writer or the thinker whose memoir we get to enjoy reading if not for St. Paul’s. It taught her to cope with failure—she tried her best but didn’t manage to pass calculus. She has been able to engage with other intellectuals and learn about the world, learn respect and appreciation for other opinions. She has also been able to see the other side of privilege. St. Paul’s gave her a window into the life of a wealthy person, allowed her to recognize her own lack of privilege (I felt this especially when she couldn’t afford to go home to see her sick mother). Lorene is not the perfect person she imagined herself becoming, but she is a good person, a well-respected and accepted member of the St. Paul’s community.
I love the way you worded that - that she has "been able to see the other side of privilege." It highlights that she didn't even KNOW what she couldn't do or didn't have before St. Pauls.
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ReplyDelete2. There is definitely a difference between finding common ground and drawing dividing lines. Lorene’s immediate negative reaction to the phrase “Our kind of people” is a good indicator that dividing into groups isn’t pretty. She’s lived it, and so has he, even if he’s too privileged to know. For Cox, it’s nicer to divide based on education and location, rather than ethnicity, because he gets the exclusive feeling of being in a group that is superior to another without the white guilt. Nixon is the problem, he says, “Nixon hates [us] worst of all,” 201, as though he faces the same struggles she does - as though her being black didn’t cross his mind. Lorene’s mind swims with what “our kind of people” means to her, and he has taken and redefined it to fit his political views. It’s reminiscent of the girls’ comments about green and purple people in that he disregards her experiences in favor of his own ideology. Cox is drawing NEW lines - political lines that he knows how to deal with, - so he doesn’t have to mentally deal with the racial ones. The contrast between this and Lorene’s relationship with India is that, while Cox implies a “those people,” India does not. Lorene and India are friends - they connect and they share food and experiences. Both feeling like outsiders, they find support and comfort in each others’ company, but they never define a group opposed to them - they don’t draw a new set of divides to cover up the old ones. The difference between common ground and dividing lines is the difference between connection and separation - connecting to one person does not imply disconnection from another.
ReplyDelete3. Lorene is beginning to act more and more “like” a St. Paul’s student, and that isn’t a bad thing. St. Paul’s is supposed to prepare its students for high-profile colleges, and high-level connections - its students are often upperclass, privileged, and with unquestionably bright futures. It was a new environment - isolated, white-dominated, and work intensive - and difficult though it is, she has learned from it. Early on in the book, Lorene recounts being harassed, “They stared at pieces of us girls, at our breasts, our thighs, our buttocks. Once, they asked me to go somewhere with them, and they walked behind me until I’d found a friend to latch onto and accompany home,” 41. She refuses to confront them, and doesn’t tell anyone other than her mother about their behavior. Later she is threatened by the cook, cornered in the freezer and grabbed. She immediately contacts the people in charge and gets him fired - even when criticized, she maintains that “he got himself fired.” Lorene is more willing to take control of her life now - and good at it, too. With more confidence in herself and her capabilities, she has learned to push against barriers, to talk with people, and to get what she wants. I’d say that’s a positive change.
2. I don’t think I paid much attention to Archibald’s comment when I read it the first time, but now I suppose what strikes me the most is how his brief comment on them being the same sort of people is a view we haven’t had yet. For almost this whole book, Lorene’s is the only perspective we see, and while riddled with self-examination, hers is not the only view of herself in existence. It was interesting to hear how even though Lorene has maintained a degree of separation between herself and the institution she is indisputably a part of, to the outside, she seems to be a full-fledged member of this “educated Northeastern establishment” (201). There is no difference between her and the other, whiter, wealthier St. Paul’s students in Archibald’s eyes, and that’s rather interesting when you think about it, because Lorene has spent so long believing that not only do the black kids feel their “otherness” but that the white faculty and alumni do too. Only, Archibald doesn’t see it that way; he sees them both as recipients of an education that awards them membership to their own special club, one of intellect and prestige. She may be not be part of the wealthy, white circles St. Paul’s was built for, but she is a part of something else, something greater perhaps.
ReplyDelete3. I think it has changed her in an undoubtedly positive way. She has been exposed to difference and diversity, and even if that tested her sense of belonging for a time, its long-term benefits will outweigh her temporary discomforts. The typical, teenage sense of not belonging anywhere was enhanced by the fraught racial divide between her home life and the school life, but she will become better for it. She already knew that St. Paul’s would give her an incredibly privileged jumping off point for her future, but she what she didn’t know was how deeply it would affect her sense of self. Before, she seemed to characterize herself as a smart, black girl from West Philly, and that was all. Now she can see beyond these superficial definitions and find deeper places to relate with other people. A person does not have to share your skin color for you to find a common ground with them, and this is a lesson Lorene is finally starting to learn. This new open-mindedness for people different than herself is most definitely a positive change.
1. In these chapters, we see a change in how Lorene interacts with the school. Being Vice President of her class, she is more careful about her rule-breaking. We see this be a conflict between the expectations of herself and her friends, like Janie, and her responsibilities as a more public figure at the school. Janie says, "I can't believe you let this vice-president crap go to your head," when Lorene won't drink with her (179). Jimmy has to change his ways similarly after getting caught shoplifting. "Jimmy was a changed man, and only occasionally did he liken himself to Winston Smith, the brainwashed main character in 1984" (206). This sort of suppression of one's own emotions is not healthy. It's perfectly okay to be changed by a place or event, but one shouldn't fake it. Ultimately, both need to do more to add their own flavor to the St. Paul's stew. Jimmy does this more as the year goes on. "By spring, his irreverence was back, but so, too, was a new caution. He had come close to leaving St. Paul's, and both of us had been shaken" (206).
ReplyDelete3. Lorene is definitely not the girl who first visited St. Paul's. In these chapters, she starts to feel more and more like an adult. Much of this is made clear when Lorene's mother can't show up for parents' day. During her speech and dance, Lorene feels directionless without her mother there. She pees from nervousness and can't stay on beat. But during her dance, Lorene starts thinking of Anthony to regain focus. She starts to define herself through herself and not just her mother. As Lorene does this, she gains self-confidence and an ability to assert her opinions. Unlike her first encounter with St. Paul's students' apathy towards the issue of race, Lorene speaks out, and makes a connection with India. Lorene realizes this and says "I, too had something to give to St. Paul's. I had come not just with my hat in my hand, a poorly shod scholarship girl, but as a sojourner bearing gifts, which were mine to give or withhold" (195). Lorene gains a sense of who she is.
2. There is definitely a difference between naturally finding common ground and finding common ground because you are part of the same social group. I think all personality traits that might bring people together or push people apart are found on a spectrum. For example, if in a school, there are a group of kids that enjoy talking about books, some definitely like talking about books more than others. If these kids are artificially grouped into the social group of “book likers” a line will cut across the spectrum in a fairly arbitrary place, maybe leaving a kid who likes talking about books slightly less than another kid likes talking about books out of the social group of “book likers”. Yet if these two kids are allowed to naturally find their common ground, they might discover that they both like talking about books a similar amount and there would be no harsh line separating them. Grouping people into societal sects creates an “us” and “them” mentality, and has the capability to create a massive divide in the society. It bothered me that Archibald Cox grouped himself and Lorene in the same social group because on the spectrum of privilege I think Archibald has significantly more than Lorene. If Archibald does want to group people, he should use more narrow guidelines for grouping than the broad privilege of being educated at a prep school. I don’t think any grouping that splits a society into two broad groups is at all constructive for the society.
ReplyDelete3. This year at St. Paul’s feels entirely different than the year before. Lorene seems to have overcome many of the problems that weighed on her so heavily during her junior year. She has ditched her “boyfriend” Ricky, she is done with calculus, and perhaps most importantly she has made a real friend at St. Paul's. All these good things culminate in Lorene saying that “I, too, had something to give to St. Paul’s” (195). She has a huge shift in confidence. I think most of this shift can be attributed to the ending of her relationship with Ricky and her new position as the Vice President on the disciplinary committee. Her relationship with Ricky has been hanging over her like a dark cloud ever since his visit to St. Paul’s and she feels incredibly good to be rid of him. Her new position of power allows her to have more influence in the school and this definitely adds to her self importance and self confidence which is at the base of all the positive changes that seem to occur so suddenly at the beginning of her final year.
1.In these past chapters, Lorene seems to become more and more involved and engrained in the school, primarily due to her role as class Vice President. She seems to take her newfound authority to heart, even to the point of distancing herself from her friends when they thwart the school’s drinking rules. This is certainly a departure from the old Lorene, who came into the school with a rebellious side and a love for stirring up trouble. However, I wouldn’t necessarily consider this particular action as a form of assimilation, since she’s sacrificing her ability to assimilate socially in the process. I see a struggle between her sense of duty to the school and her desire to be liked by her peers, something that every adolescent experiences. I would argue that this conflict between assimilation and maintaining one’s sense of self is universal, and we see evidence of this struggle in the letter she and Bruce Chan write to the English Department to protest their biased grading policies. On one hand, this action shows that Lorene is still committed to “turning it out,” but she also goes about this protest in the least disruptive way possible, representing her simultaneous desire to assimilate and not stir up trouble.
ReplyDeleteVernon Jordan, president of the National Urban League, offers Lorene a reminder of the difficulty in balancing personal identity and involvement in St Paul’s, saying, “It’s hard not to become a part of this. It’s hard not to forget where we came from”(202). To answer the question of whether or not this balance is even possible, I would say yes, one can maintain an individual identity within a larger system, but it’s impossible to be in a place but not of it. Lorene’s experiences at St Paul’s have inarguably changed her deeply, just as all of our experiences leave marks on us. She can still be Lorene, but not the same Lorene as she was before embarking on her journey to St. Paul’s.
I agree that St. Paul’s has had a net positive impact on Lorene, though not without a certain degree of damage. Towards the beginning of the book, St Paul’s called into question her self-esteem, her identity, and her pride, causing her to question her sense of self and her sense of individuality. However, she now seems to have emerged with an even stronger sense of herself and of her worth: “I, too, had something to give St. Paul’s. I had come not just with my hat in my hand, a poorly shod scholarship girl, but as a sojourner bearing gifts, which were mine to give or withhold”(195). In addition to giving her an education, St Paul’s has taught her how to command respect, how to use “the confident speech St. Paul's had given me" (169). However, this new side of Lorene has come at the cost of alienating her from her Philly roots. She’s gained many tools that will help her on the path to success, but at times she hardly recognizes who she’s become.