Lorene Cary first heard about St. Paul's School 45 years ago when she was 14. Interestingly enough, that was also the first year of The Paideia School. The school Lorene attending all those years ago was about as far away from this school as one could be at the time. Today...well, that's another story.
What Lorene did all those years ago was probably being mirrored all across America. The Private School, the (College) Preparatory School, the Independent School (a term I'm not sure existed back then—it sounds so less loaded the private or prep school)—particularly the ones in New England that had existed for hundreds of years (like Phillips Academy in Andover, MA, founded in 1778, Phillips Exeter in Exeter, NH, founded in 1781, Deerfield Academy, Deerfield, MA, founded 1797, and, yes, St. Paul's School, founded in 1857)—were (and are) feeders for the Ivy Leagues. As Lorene knew even at 14: "I wanted to know the things [Mike Russell] must know: about science and literature and language, living away from home, New England, white people, money, power, himself." Power: even in Darby, a working class section of Philadelphia, she knew what what a New England prep school could bring. And about the time St. Paul's sent out students like Mike Russell and teachers like Jeremy Price, these schools, like St. Paul's, were finally admitting girls. And almost immediately, Lorene decides, "I had to be part of that. With the force of religious conversion, the great God of education moved within me, an African Methodist God with a voice that boomed like thunder. It took all my strength to hold myself inside my skin. This school—why, this was what I had been raised for, only I hadn't known it" (12). Years later, though, she acknowledges:
But I would not admit how profoundly St. Paul's had shaken me, or how damaged and fraudulent and traitorous I felt when I graduated. In fact, I pretended for so long that by the time I was twenty-six years old, I was able to convince myself that going back to school to teach would be the career equivalent of summering with distant, rich relatives. (4)
This is all happening to a fifteen year old girl who has never really left her home city, doesn't really know that much about the world outside her "enclave of black professionals, paraprofessionals, wish-they-was—, look-like, and might-as-well-be professionals, as we called ourselves" (9). Lorene is on a mission—"This school—why, this was what I had been raised for, only I hadn't known it." But can one argue that she even came out ahead of the game, feeling "black and ugly"? "Had they done that to me? Had somebody else? Had I let them? Could I stop the feelings? Or hide them?" (5). Lorene Cary indeed was a trailblazer: one of the first girls in what had been an exclusively male school since 1855. And one of the first African-American girls in what had been an almost exclusively white world. How could this have gone right or smoothly? Or could it have?
I'd propose one of the major questions that Cary asks in her memoir is this: Was the experience worth it? As Sylvia Snyderman pointed out two years ago when I last taught this book, Cary seems to contradict herself. This place, this experience, that so seemed to scar her—to bring her so quickly back to her own feelings of powerlessness that she felt as an adolescent at the school—was not "an aberration from the common run of black life in America. The isolation I'd felt was an illusion" (6). That's one powerful illusion she felt. St. Paul's is hers because she went there—but did it have to be such a daunting experience? And if so, was it the fault of the school—had "they" done it to her? Had she "let them" do it to her? Was this simply a part of growing up? The memoir poses so many questions—and the answers, no surprise, are not easy, not easily reduced to "illusion," no matter how Lorene Cary may feel about them. In my opinion. So...
1. Reactions to the book so far? What moment in it particularly jumped out at you in either a positive or negative way—and why—how so? Please quote.
2. Your reactions to Lorene Cary? Do you like her? Dislike her? Relate to her? What moment in the book so far jumps out at you that helps define this precocious young woman for you, positively or negatively? Please quote.
3. I'm curious, and it does tie in with Lorene's journey. Why did you come to Paideia School?
The St. Paul's website is here. Take a look at it. It looks remarkably like Paideia's website, I think. Take away the more formal dress of some of the boys, stick the pictures on our webpage, and no one would know the difference. The tuition is a little over $60,000. The school was in the news recently for a sex scandal involving a senior boy and a 15 year old female student.
This is Lorene Cary's website.
See you all Tuesday.